Hating Poems More In Class

The poems we read in school always finds a way to bore me and makes me not care as much for poetry like I do in the summertime or any other time that isn’t a teacher talking about poetry or making us read poetry. I tried to find out why this is and what makes me dislike poetry when I know for a fact I love to sit down with a poetry book and could sit for hours and read multiple without pausing. Looking at the poetry we read in class like for example this year we read Eldorado and I didn’t exactly hate it but I definitely would not see myself reading it outside of class. We also read some poetry from old poetry books and I realized that they were so boring to read. In class we talk about how to dissect a poem. So when I’m reading this old poetry some of it I will read and really enjoy but right when I start overthinking it and start to try to fit it into a style like formalism or freestyle or even neoformalism I feel my brain start to feel hatred toward the poem. What I don’t understand is how I can read my books of poetry and adore every word on each page but once I get to school and have to rip a poem apart and piece it back together I react right away with disliking of even reading poetry and boredom of even thinking about doing it. In the beginning of the lesson I had messed up one of the assignments and ripped apart one of the poems from my favorite books and I enjoyed it, finding the meaning, breaking it into pieces, and thinking about everything that went into the poem. So why is it that I can’t stand reading poetry at school? It’s wanting to clean your room than right when you start your parent tells you that you have to do it and right away you don’t want to do it anymore just because they told you so. Reading is as addictive as watching Netflix but right when we are forced to read in school we don’t want to do it anymore. I believe that this is how I work with poetry outside and inside of school. Right when I am forced to work with poetry and told I have to deal with it, I don’t want to anymore and it isn’t enjoyable anymore.

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Six word story, then to now.

When I had decided which six words to use my choice went to “with bloody hands, I say goodbye.” and I chose it because I thought right away, okay main character gets killed off at the end of the story. The question of how arose and I began to think of why. I decided my main character would be suicidal due to at home problems. I didn’t have the high society family idea until I was making my draft and I decided that families who are seen a lot publicly and have to deal with feeling as if they have to be perfect can bring a lot of stress. School life didn’t pop up until I had thought of making it during the summer time but realized a crowded school setting could reference how crowded her mind is with bad thoughts and when she is alone she is calmer. My original idea was to make Minthe a disappointment to her family by making her want to be an artist but I quickly realized it would be hard to apply her in a situation where she is trying to find ways to make a living off of it. By realizing this I decided to make her want to be a singer and placed her on the boardwalk which also gave a chance for people from her school to recognize her. My most favorite thing about writing this story is being able to play around with the dialogue and make conflicts. My least favorite part about the story is writing about the home life because I know some people do struggle with this situation when they go home and I wish I could write it better but I feel like I’m over exaggerating it or under exaggerating it. While I’ve been reading my book on the side I have pulled out some of the main characters family problems because she is in a mental hospital and she continuously refers to how bad her mom is. I ended up deciding that way to make the mother the bad person. I also read about Greek myths on my free time so I decided to name all of  Minthes family after Greek myths.

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Humor In Girl In Pieces

My book isn’t a humorous one, and I don’t think much humor would fit due to the fact that it is about a girl who is in a hospital for cutting herself along with other girls. The only humor that would fit would have to be fairly dark humor. In the last few pages I just read I found out that Jen, a girl in the hospital with Charlie, was messing around with Doc Dooley, a very handsome doctor, and they got caught after doing it for a fairly long time apparently. When Charlie was talking to Louisa, a girl who has been there for a very long time, she says how no guys will like them because they are messed up and cut up, at least, no boys would like them in the normal way she goes on to say. Louisa could have lightened up the topic by chuckling and comparing themselves to cut up vegetables for a soup of sad girls with tears of broth.

Girl In Pieces

For my first book of the new school year I decided on reading Girl in Pieces. I chose to read Girl in Pieces due to loving suicidal books or asylum books. The main character, Charlotte, is introduced to the reader outside a hospital with nothing covering her but a bed sheet and she was under horrible conditions from self-harm. A guard finds her and she described how she could remember that night so vividly, with the stars “like salt against the sky, like someone spilled the shaker against very dark cloth.” When the story moves to where she is stationed in the asylum, it introduces the people that are there with her along with the staff and their nicknames. Charlotte doesn’t talk during the time she is in the asylum so everyone calls her “Silent Sue” and she communicates with writing on notes to people, even the staff. The reader gets to find out the unhappy side to everyone and sees how everyone reacts to different situations, for example, Charlotte loses her temper due to the rude doctor not telling her how long she has been there. She just wants to know how long she has been in there away from her friends but they aren’t supposed to tell her so he refuses and acts cocky. Once she gets angry and starts throwing things and fighting back he is seen as scared of her instead being scared of him. She says how she thinks he assumes that she is scared of him but for this moment it is turned around. After losing her mind and throwing everything in the office the staff members decide its best for her to do online school so she doesn’t stay up all night anymore and has some sort of project to do. Charlotte also finds out that the staff had to empty her bag due to it being safer for her but they still wouldn’t let her have her bag. She just wants to draw again so the one staff member who is nice and cares about her says she will see if she what she can do but there was no sketch book, charcoals, or pencils found in her bag.