not so lucky number 13

I have received abortion from the “abortion should be illegal” stand point and I am not excited AT ALL. I do not really have a strong opinion for or against abortion because there are so many circumstances that can get in the way of just making a quick decision. I know that certain states don’t allow you to get an abortion at all and certain states have restrictions on the age of the fetus at the time of abortion. For Pennsylvania, the time you are no longer allowed to receive an abortion is after 24 weeks. Without googling I know that abortion can be free for some people if you go to the right places, but can cost a lot if not. I don’t feel that you should be able to kill a child that is already able to do normal functions like breathe, see, touch, and hear. With this view also comes the fact that I can’t judge anyone else’s life decisions. The problem with making abortions illegal is that people are always going to find a way to get it done even if it is illegal via the black market and the internet providing nonsense ideas. The main problem comes when you consider what happens when rape victims are impregnated. Are they going to be forced to keep that pregnancy and the constant reminder of the pain they were put through? I think it would be pretty fair if you could abort the pregnancy based on a court ruling. If there is enough evidence that the rapist is in fact guilty of raping the victim and the victim becomes pregnant, then it should be legal for that victim. Of course with this solution also comes the problem of the fact that hearings take weeks if not months and what is saying that the court ruling is going to come in time to terminate the pregnancy.

A quick google of abortion would bring up a lot of religious views and there are a lot of opinions on what to do. There are either extreme pro-choice supporters or extreme pro-life supporters. Basically, abortion is complicated and touchy and I’m not very excited.

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a hidden rant

A topic that would be good for debating would be whether or not parents/administration could report books and challenge them to be restricted. The good side to reporting books would be that parents and administration can control what their children are reading and what information they have access to. The bad side would be that most books are reported due to racial themes being present. but children need to understand what our world used to be like and that we shouldn’t ignore history or it’s going to repeat itself. I believe that parents shouldn’t be able to restrict books because if the book is in the school library it has clearly passed the screenings required.

So far this school year I’ve been extremely stressed. Play doesn’t start until today but I’m already sleep deprived. AP bio is kicking my butt and since I have AP bio right after Anatomy & Physiology, I’m always studying during A&P instead of paying attention. So although my AP grade went up, my A&P grade did not. I’M STUCK. So far my grades are really good even though it doesn’t feel like they are. I’m trying to keep my head up but that harder than imaginable. Good news though… I have a good job and I make some good money. I mean minimum wage, but still a pretty easy job. Christmas break gave me around $100 just in tips. Which is very good because yesterday I shattered my phone for the first time in my life. It was heartbreaking and terrifying and I wanted to cry. I mean not only did half the screen stop working, but the home button fell out too. I also dropped a 25 pound dumb bell on my thumb. Yea it’s not pretty. Pretty great 2019 so far. (EXTREME sarcasm). The rest of this school year I’m just going to try and keep my head up. All I can do is continue to study and find my zen when it comes to taking my tests.

 

virt-WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

Not to sound like a goody two shoes or anything, but I usually do this kind of thing naturally. Every night before I go to bed I go over every good thing I’ve done for someone else throughout the day and things that I did that I wish I wouldn’t have done or could’ve done better. I usually strive for at least three things of each every day. Finding things I wish I would’ve changed helps me stay humble and things that I did for other people helps me to stay on track to preparing for college. My thought is that throughout high school you should spend most of your time figuring out who the best and most genuine version of yourself is so that you can present that side of you to your college friends and fall in place with the right group. Some days I have more tallies in the good column than the bad and visa versa but ya know that is what the point of it is: to reflect on how the day was and how to make the next day better. Compared to the 15 Virtues, my self reflection was beginner level.

Throughout the week I have noticed that the one I struggled with the most was healthy body, healthy life because in the middle of the week I had a lot of stress on myself due to AP Bio so I tended to not eat lunch in order to use that time for studying/homework and of course I didn’t eat breakfast. We all know that isn’t very healthy. I also failed with order a couple times because I would receive random homework and then I was so brain dead by the end that going to the Purple Palace (planet fitness) was no longer an option even though I was planning on going. This also didn’t help make Healthy body, healthy life any more achievable. I also did not do too hot with patience over the weekend because I was very hangry and was throwing up a lot (probs stress and a mix of too much sugar in a short time span) so everything my parents said made me upset so I would just continue to give them attitude until they eventually stopped talking to me and then complain because they stopped talking to me. Ya know, normal girl mentality.

I was pretty average at all the other ones because I’m very go with the flow about life and it seems like Franklin was too. I mean don’t get me wrong I’m going to stand up for myself, but in a respectful way.

No, you’re a Dodo

My first impression of “The Dodo’s Conundrum” was simply one word and a bunch of angry questions. Why? I thought we were done with poetry. I was over it. My brain was already fried. We checked that off the required list. We were good. And then suddenly we weren’t good. At all.

The poem really wasn’t as confusing as before, but I do believe it is because of all the other poems we read leading up to it. If that was the first poem we were given, we would have lost our minds. I think realizing all the metaphors was pretty easy because most of them came from your own views of the work. You could examine every stanza in that poem and easily make it mean something more than the author probably wanted to. It might eventually get a little stretched out, but it would have either way been easy to back up. Without the help of the footnotes, it would have been a lot worse. Thankfully I didn’t really look back at those much. Once you read what the reference was once you pretty much understood and didn’t really have to think too much about it.

The sound and sense questions did not really get easier, but I also think that is just my brain not letting me be good at poetry analysis. I do think I got better at thinking in the way you really need to in order to analyze it correctly and I think that is all because of the poetry we had to write. In regards to figuring out the theme, it has gotten a little bit easier. Instead of just reading the poem I automatically just jump right into “hmmm this definitely has a dark and deep twist somewhere.” I really don’t know if I learned that poetry is always a metaphor or if I really just learned how much I dislike poetry. Yet another question to never be answered.

I think writing poetry has been very beneficial to how I view poetry. Not just from the #thestruggleisreal way but also in the #deep way. Without writing poetry, I wouldn’t understand how an author must think and how carefully words and references are chosen. I hit the word limit. #imdone #thispichaswatermark #idontreallycare

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THANK GOODNESS GRACIOUS

Part 1: Writing these poems has shredded my brain. I never knew how much work it took into writing poems. I always thought my elementary poems sounded pretty dang good and now examining them with all the rules… well they’re just a sentimental piece of garbage. Also with knowing all the trouble we had to go through to make our poems and how miserable I was, I feel for those poor people who make livings out of this. Maybe that is why most of them are so dark and depressing, because their life is spent over examining everything. Just go with the flow of words my dudes!

My second poem was a lot less enthusiastic than the first. For the first poem, I tried the “go big or go home” approach. It was stressful to say the least. I thought everyone was trying just as hard as I was but then I read their poems and realized it was the complete opposite. People were writing about mashed potatoes and Mountain Dew while I was over here writing about my absent-minded grandfather. I had no clue where to go with it or what to write about. So therefore I started it the night it was due at 11 pm and made it about writers block. I had many ideas about it from my dog, to Christmas, and even school stress, but none of those ended up going anywhere. I couldn’t find any more words than a first stanza for each idea. Needless to say they didn’t work out. So that’s where the grand idea came from. Because it was about writers block, it didn’t come very easy. I tried to describe how I was feeling which came pretty easy, but then rhyming came. I had to figure out the correct words to use but then it came down to how tired I was. I tried to match the word dumb with come. Don’t ask me why but lets just say I was pretty convinced and then realized how stupid I was being.

Part 2: I think adding visual affects to the poetry helps readers understand it a lot. Like when we watched the video on Bells by Edgar Allen Poe with the Simpsons, I understood it a lot more. Sometimes the words in poetry can be very very confusing just to keep the rhythm and rhyme pattern, but pictures help you to understand what is going on more often. I believe I could add some visual to my poem like someone lying in bed frustrated and feeling worn down with lots of dead thoughts floating around. I would need to think a lot about how to make this look good, but it is possible

 

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poetr-heyyyyy

I still do not know what is going on. I mean I understand the endings and everything like that, but I am still not understanding how to find what words are stressed and unstressed. Like the symbols kinda make sense but I still do not know which ones to use. I am assuming one day it will just hit me or eventually I will just need McGarry to demonstrate until eventually it gets into my concrete head. This could either of two ways: a light bulb going off or me pretending to understand and then going home and crying about how dumb I am. I loved the poems we have read so far because I love Edgar Allen Poe. There is always a deeper meaning than what is being stated and it is often really dark. Evaluating Eldorado was pretty easy for me. I didn’t make all the connections before we talked about it in class, but then all the dots connected and the extremely deep meaning was revealed.

My poem is going to be about Alzheimer’s and dementia. I know it’s really depressing, but it is something close to my heart that I know pretty well and I will have the dedication to finish. Everyone else is probably writing some pretty good funny ones, but I wanted to do something with more meaning that I would be hard on myself to finish. My grandfather (pappy) was my best friend and has been suffering from a mix of Alzheimer’s and dementia for about 5 years now so it has affected my life a considerable amount. Some days it hurts a lot because he really does not know how to do the simplest things like brushing his hair and dressing himself (which can be pretty funny let me tell you. He often comes out with his shirt on backwards, pants inside-out, buttons all messed up… the whole package.) Although most days are awful, sometimes he is completely “lucid” and can ask you about everything going on in your life from your current love interest, to what your learning in school, how much you’re working in a week, even asking how the band sounds. He might not always be in the right year, but he always tries. I want this poem to not only be really good, I want it to be something my family can hold on to once he is gone to remember him and remember how everything used to be and that no matter what, he is still our Pappy and he is trying his best.

 

Matrix Morpheus Meme | WHAT IF I TOLD YOU, MEMES ARE BASICALLY THE POETRY OF THE MODERN AGE | image tagged in memes,matrix morpheus | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

I’ll Give You the Sun

I CAN”T RECOMMEND THIS BOOK MORE. I’M NOT GOING INTO EXTREME DETAIL BECAUSE I WANT Y’ALL TO READ THIS AND FIGURE IT OUT ON YOUR OWN. This book was recommended to me when I went to Cape May over the summer by some random college kid in a book store. I’m still trying to decided if that specific college kid wanted me to love the book or set me up for failure. There are many times while I was reading that I had to scan over the same page at least three times to understand what was being said. Main point: this book is rough! It was a hard story right from the beginning. Quite honestly it just continues to get worse. With everything drastic happening in the beginning it seems like there’s really no where else to go with the story but up, until you keep reading. I mean this could be a good thing in some stories because it could show some character development throughout the story, in this case it did, but not as much as it could’ve because there was nothing to compare the end result to. We didn’t really know much before all the “tragedies” occurred besides what each of the main characters claim to be true. The main characters are two siblings (brother and sister) who just so happen to be twins and both share an amazing artistic ability. In the beginning of the book their mother has just died and the the sister (Jude) takes it a little harder than the brother (Noah). I honestly didn’t expect much different because stereotypes but when more secrets start to unfold throughout the story, you begin to realize that those kinds of stereotypes are complete crap. As if the stereotypes couldn’t get worse, Jude and Noah apply to the same art school and only Jude gets accepted although they were pretty much at the same level which is the level of complete amazing-ness. This book focuses a lot on crushing stereotypes and features a lot of extreme teenager themes that I’m not going to expose because I can’t give away the whole story (McGarry if you want to know, I’ll tell ya). One of the confusing things in this story was that the point of view switches every chapter and each sibling is speaking about a different point in time. I personally did not like this style, but it reminded me of “The Last Five Years” which made me appreciate it more. The connections kinds mess with your head a little bit and you have to go back and remember what sibling is talking, but once you get that figured out it’s a well written story. I also love all the traditions they have that were passed down from their grandmother like old wive’s tales and such. I hope to be that crazy grandma one day. I believe one of the main themes of this story is that you should cherish your family at all costs because no matter what happens you’re always going to want their support. Speaking from experience, no matter how mad my siblings and I are at each other we always end up talking to each other about the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am a full believer that siblings are supposed to be your built in best friends (of course that doesn’t mean you can’t disagree with every single thing one of your siblings does) but it’s a lot easier to look past the differences. This honestly has turned into a book recommendation but I can’t help it that this is my reaction. I have cried over this book, became frustrated, and honestly invested way too much of my emotional strength into reading this, but it was well worth it. It provides a lot of crazy realizations about what other people are struggling through in high school and it’s definitely more than just getting good grades.

Unbroken End Blog

This book had my emotions all over the place. It all started with the prologue which was a later scene of Louis floating on a raft fighting off Sharks and trying to hold his head under the ocean water to avoid the Japanese bombs showering from above. I should’ve known from this how addicting the book would become. When I began reading the first chapter, I was a little confused. Why would there be a book written about such an awful young boy? Louis Zamperini stole from everyone and I was not finding a silver lining in any of it. There were so many times when I thought he would get better or that I would turn the page and hopefully the next one would say “This was all a lie he lived in a community with just his family!”… but that never happened. When Louis finally started running races instead of away from the cops, I was filled with a lot of relief. This part of the story I could sort of connect with. Although I wasn’t a criminal, when I was younger my brother also taught me how to do something I now love. At the age of three my brother began to play soccer with me in our yard when he would come home from college and eventually he was one of my first soccer coaches for my AYSO team. This helped my connect a lot to this really long section of the book because of how much their connection was growing. I was hoping Louis would hopefully leave all his stealing behind, but I guess you can’t really change a person completely. He did, until they got on the ship to the Olympics. That’s when he recovered his boyish ways and began to steal small things from the ship with his new friends. He also stole while he was in Berlin for the Olympics but I was really trying to avoid that fact. Speaking of the Olympics… AMAZING FORESHADOWING! The author would constantly talk about the war and Hitler’s actions as well as Japan’s actions. The author would explain military tactics in great detail and this eventually foreshadowed the fact that Louis was going to join the military. I’m not quite sure if this was on purpose but the whole time I was just thinking “yea yea yea we know he’s going to join just get to it already.” When Louis finally joined the military I was a little worried for him (as if I wasn’t enough already.) Of course to no surprise, Louis signed up for one of the craziest parts of the war. One of the most unfortunate parts for me while reading this story was the fact that Louis didn’t suffer through a crash on any of his crazy missions, but it was on a rescue mission that the misfortune happened. The next part was most definitely the best. Louis suffered not only an extensive amount of time lost at sea (over 30 days) but then was captured by the Japanese and kept as a POW for over 2 more years. Many parts of the story while he was in the camp I either cringed, cried, or just didn’t read. I couldn’t begin to fathom what that would’ve felt like and how he kept his head up through it all. Call it undying hope and faith or call it spite, Louis’s bravery and unwillingness to give in not just for him but for his fellow comrades, made him a hero. Due to never being able to live a normal life, returning home was just as bad as still being in a camp and Louis turned to alcohol to take away some of his pain. This book had a lot of hardships in it and made me think a lot about the men and women who serve our country. Louis Zamperini was lucky enough to have his story preserved, but I believe his book is about educating everyone that there are a lot of soldiers struggling out there.

STRESS

Let me just start by saying: I am struggling. Life=hard. Me=tired. This story=not done quite yet.

Writing this story is fun but instead of finishing it, I also just want to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep.  My story has evolved into a better story due to just wanting to make it better and more detailed. Through all the assignments we had to do I feel like it definitely has got better. The only problem I am having is figuring out how much detail is too much detail. My characters are pretty evolved but I have to keep figuring out how to make Estelle’s husband more important. Like he is already loving and supportive, but it is like there is nothing else to him. I feel like dialogue would help with this, but I am not sure how to do that while being in diary format. I would switch it, but also don’t want to have to start all over again.

My book was kinda depressing, but also inspirational. Even without getting to the war part, you can still be inspired by how he switched his life around from being a recluse to being a champion runner. His take on the Olympics and getting to talk to Hitler just blows my mind because not many Americans were in Germany and able to take in that part of history before the war started. The ending was crazy with all the battles scenes and everything and I didn’t completely understand everything, but I was enjoying the army stuff. This book makes me want to be in the Army while also making me want to sprint in the opposite direction.

I have no clue what I am going to read for next book. I kinda want to read a sappy romance, but not many of them are actually good and school appropriate at the same time. Any suggestions, let me know.

 

What the Heckie

First off, why? I just wanted to enjoy fair but there I was trying to figure out when my homework was due and having absolutely no time to do it. ROUGH. You know what else is rough? My short story. The ideas are all there in my head, but actually coming out of my brain and making sense, harder than I imagined. When I first thought of what I wanted to write about I knew it was going to involve a love story at some point in time. My originally plan was to just make the sappiest love story I could out of my personal experience. The only problem with this idea is I have absolutely no romantic activity in my life (unless you considered my love and affection for strawberries a romantic connection.) Another problem was that James was doing a romantic story of some sort and since we sit next to each other, that would seem very unoriginal. Since that idea didn’t work, I decided to go towards something else I enjoy quite a bit. Babies. It was a no brainer after that. Set up a story in the future, ledd research to do because it didn’t happen yet. Less things in your story that are false, because you don’t know whats going to happen. I mean look at back to the future. We still don’t have flying cars roaming the streets, but they didn’t expect cellphones and TV to be as crazy.

After deciding what I wanted my story to be about, it was easier to start at the basics and build it all up. The questions we had to answer about our characters really helped a lot. It helped with the advancement of the characters because I’m so indecisivethat it helps to have a set guideline of how the characters feel on certain subjects. I also enjoyed having the small group conversations a lot. I have a lot of moments throughout the day where parts of peoples conversations distract me from what I’m thinking (“squirrel!’ moments) and it was nice that those moments were actually helping my story grow.

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