I can’t say I enjoyed your poem, McGary. It seems pretty chaotic in its writing style but I couldn’t do much better so whatever. The poem was basically gibberish until you explained what most of it meant. My initial reaction was “What did I just read?” because I sorta zoned out and skimmed over it, but then I read it again and it made just as much sense as it did when I was zoned out. This poem sounds like a train of thoughts colliding with a school bus full of edgy teenagers who were born in the wrong generation. It was very confusing, alluding often and subtly to other works that are much older than the expected audience. My questions about this poem? Why is it so needlessly complicated? You alluded to several works in ways that no normal person would pick up on and that made it so complicated.
My thoughts on your poem… I didn’t vomit while reading it or want to tear my own eyes out so it’s passable. It is far from the worst thing I’ve ever read. It was confusing and littered with allusions that required research to understand, but overall not horrible.
The most important of all the allusions is the allusion to the Eagles. They sang “Hotel California” which is a song about drug addiction and it talks about what people are going through. The title of the poem is “A Smile” because everything about people can be hidden behind a smile… sorta like how everything in this poem is hidden by allusions. If that is actually what you were going for that’s actually pretty impressive but if not then that is quite an interesting coincident. Now that I’ve noticed this I must say I like the poem a little more. The meaning of the poem is that things can easily be hidden behind words and double meanings. People’s emotion’s and problems are often hidden behind words and actions… Such as a smile. I have learned a new meaning of the poem just by complaining about it. In the end, not a bad poem but confusing at first.